It started with a “family emergency” Zoom call that I was summoned to on a Tuesday night. My grandmother (80) now needs daily care, and apparently, the family had already held a meeting without me to decide my fate.
My Aunt Linda led the charge. “We’ve looked at everyone’s schedules,” she announced, “and we’ve decided you should be the one to do it.”
Her reasoning? I “live the closest” (a 15-minute drive) and, unlike my cousins, I “don’t have kids.” In their eyes, my child-free status and proximity meant my time had zero value. It was convenient how suddenly I’m the chosen one—considering this woman spent my whole childhood treating me like garbage.
I sat there, staring at their expectant faces on the screen, while memories flooded back. She wasn’t just strict. She was cruel. I remembered the Christmas she bought expensive toys for my cousins and gave me a pack of socks because I “didn’t deserve nice things.” I remembered the constant criticism of my appearance, my grades, and my personality. She showed blatant favoritism toward my cousins, often calling me “ungrateful” for simply existing. The sting of her telling me to my face that I was her “least favorite” grandchild never really went away. She made my life miserable every chance she got.
“So,” Linda continued, oblivious to my silence. “We’ll need you to go over at 7 AM for breakfast and meds, clean up, handle lunch, and then stay until dinner. We can rotate weekends.”
Now she needs help, and everyone acts like none of that ever happened. They wanted me to sacrifice my career and mental health for the woman who once told me I would never amount to anything.
Last month, my aunt called demanding I take over Grandma’s cooking, cleaning, and meds every day. When I didn’t immediately agree during the Zoom call, she called me privately to pressure me.
I said no.
“Excuse me?” Linda gasped.
“I said no. I will not be doing that.”
She acted shocked and accused me of “abandoning an old woman.”
“How can you be so cold?” she screamed. “She’s family! She’s your grandmother!”
“She made it very clear I wasn’t ‘family’ when she excluded me from family vacations and ridiculed me for 18 years,” I replied calmly. “Where are her favorites? Where are the cousins she gave the savings bonds to? Why aren’t they stepping up?”
“They have families! They have responsibilities!” Linda argued.
“So do I,” I said. “And my responsibility is to protect myself from her abuse.”
I reminded her that Grandma has three adult children—including her—and I’m not the family’s free labor.
“If you all care about her so much,” I said, “you can pool your money and hire a nurse. Or you, her daughter, can take care of her. But do not call me again asking for favors for a woman who has never shown me a shred of kindness.”
I hung up and blocked Aunt Linda for a week. The last I heard, the “favorites” are currently fighting over who has to pay for the nursing home because—surprise, surprise—none of them want to take care of her either.
